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fuck you (strong letter to follow)
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@hj Sir this is the post office.
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@hj To whom it may concern,
Prithee be aware that I am in possession of a fuck that rightly belongs to you. Verily thou hath marred me so that I have cultivated a multitude of fucks that I shoulds't surely beladen thee with! I beseech thee, meet me in the market square at noon on this very day that I may deliver them in person.
Yours rightfully incensed,
HJ (Honourable Justice)