what I said was that I thought "transphobic" was not a good term to describe failure to accept a cis woman's gender identity. I acknowledged that I'm not entirely sure she's a cis woman. I just don't know the facts, and honestly, it's enough for me to know she's a woman. it didn't expect it would be that hard to get that from what I wrote.

and, again, I didn't criticize anyone for criticizing the gender intolerance that I hadn't even come across at that time. I criticized someone for trying to force someone else to express presumed gender-hateful beliefs. I don't see that this serves any positive purpose. if the suspect happened to not be transphobic, that painful show would go on indefinitely (as it would between the two of us, if neither of us got tired); as it turned out, a conversation that was mostly respectful (granted, with some suspicious claims) became one that could seriously hurt any trans and trans-caring people reading it. I don't think that inciting transphobic speech protects victims of transphobia. if the person was already known to be a transphobe, as seems to be the case, provoking the person to express it seems to be the worst one could do to keep people we care about safe. it may have been enjoyable for intolerance-reciprocity fans to watch, but to me it was just disgusting