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Wife: "What were you guys talking about for so long with the door closed?"

Me: "THE TALK about girlfriends and stuff. Also, the nature of relationships and how to keep one."

Wife: "You talked about the clitoris?!?"

Me: "Uh..... well, we didn't start with THAT!"

Full disclosure: I did talk about THAT at one point--look, I've read the aforementioned books.