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To do what we are about to is to believe with my body and to demand that my family believe with theirs that we do not have a future in the US anymore and that we will be safer somewhere else.

What I want to choose, though, is what I had. I want Vermont, yes, and I want UU ministry. I want to be in the parish again and see it through, thick and thin, with a people. I want to be an American in all the beautiful terrible possibility filled rocking it whiffing it complexity that has ever meant.

But I think mostly I also want it to be last week.

I want to choose last week. Last year. The last time the world felt normal which I can't even really remember but it might have been sometime in 2010.

I want what I wanted and I don't know if that is available anymore or ever will be again.