>literally went back in time
>hired 14 pinkerton agents to hunt down ONE middle-aged family guy
>family guy is just some dad with a box of Magic cards
>Pinkertons show up at his door like they're about to raid a Wild West saloon
>kick the door in, knock over a cup of coffee
>"WE KNOW YOU HAVE THE CARDS, HAND THEM OVER"
>family guy is confused, thinks it's a weird prank from his DnD group
>Pinkertons aren't joking
>they search the entire house
>find the unopened booster packs like it's stolen gold bullion
>dad just standing there, speechless, holding his "World's Best Dad" mug
>Pinkertons confiscate the cards and leave like it's the heist of the century
>kid walks in after soccer practice
>"Dad, where are my cards?"
>looks at kid
>"Son... the Pinkertons took 'em"
>kid's jaw drops
>"You mean, like, the guys from Red Dead Redemption?"
>dad nods solemnly
>family now traumatized, lives in constant fear of showing up to the next FNM with an early set card
>years later, therapy is still not enough to make sense of it all