I first read the outcomes of these studies just 5 years ago, after 40 years of being told that the consistent, frightening violence I've experienced--and frankly, just gotten used to--in dating relationships must be my fault. None of my friends understood how it was possible that I had come to just expect physical violence from a first date. None of my partnerships lasted long, and I regularly endured IPV from age 19 on. I stopped protecting myself because I didn't feel I deserved protection.