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Everything for this day, from this point on, unless otherwise specified, was written two days later!

12:30-13:10 Panic Attack
12:30-15:30 Severe Disorientation
12:30-15:30 Nausea
12:30-15:30 Sense of Time being weird
12:30-15:30 Hyperfocus
12:30-15:30 Hypersensibility
12:30-15:30 Constantly Distracted / not focused
12:30-14:30 Not able to speak / finish sentences
12:30-15:30 Less impulse control
12:30-15:30 Long thinking breaks
13:15-14:00 Felt like a Hamster

After the mentioned ending times of each side effect (except for the panic attack), the effect continued, but decreased throughout the day. At 17:30, it felt 80% as strong as 12:30 when everything started. By the next morning (of 009) I didn't feel hungover, I felt the effects 30% as strong as when it started.

First of all, yes, the “I am currently having a panic attack” post was made during a panic attack. My initial response after calming down a small amount, lying on my bed, surrounded by doctors going all around, was look at my phone to “calm down”, however I got the sudden urge to post to Mastodon about this. It was a (working) distraction.

I don't quite understand what my goal of the “Gigachad” meme was, or why I put it there. I just suddenly thought of that image in my head and couldn't stop laughing, as if it was the best joke I've ever heard. I don't even know what this is supposed to mean, it's “based” to have a panic attack? “but I'm posting on Mastodon despite all this” mindset? Where was the joke here? I guess it was the juxtaposition of something so serious paired with an image giving off more meme vibes.

Regardless, that same day, when things calmed down, the physician (often presented as the highest authority on the study) asked me to E-Mail him an exact description of my experience. Whilst still high and recovering from it, I've written the following text for over an hour! I have titled some segments to make it easier to read through...

At around 11:00 AM, when I was sitting in the study room, I noticed larger side effects than usual (higher dizziness, more nausea). I just finished a work meeting (which started 10:00 AM), with zero side effects or weird feelings.

The dizziness slowly came and got stronger, but I ignored it or didn't care to notice it, because I've had softer versions of these side effects the days before and it was never a big deal. After day one of the compound, the side effects completely vanished for me, which is in a stark contrast to my colleagues who have experienced quite strong symptoms of “being high” just the day prior. I would make a few more slip ups during my work because of this feeling, but I didn't think much of it.

At exactly 12:30, my mother had sent a picture of our cats into the family group chat. This was the moment where a large wave of this effect hit me. I looked at the picture of cats and was both concentrated and distracted from the image, that I didn't even feel anything around me disappearing. If it wasn't in my immediate vision, it was simply not part of my reality. Some impulse driving me to continue working got ahold of me, so wanted to turn back to my laptop.

To be continued