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@drunkenmadman

Denver Post: "We'd like to give you a month of Sundays FREE!"

Me: "Okay send 'em along. I'd like 4 copies of last Sunday's issue please."

DP: "Why would you want to read four copies of last Sunday's paper?"

Me: "Oh I don't read your paper, it's crap. I use it to line the cat's liter box and I'm out of stock right now so could you hurry?"

True story, and they never called me again.