If you bumped shoulders with someone, you'd say sorry and move on.
If you knew that someone had bad arthritis in their shoulders, you'd take extra special care to avoid bumping them right?
You'd only know what effect your actions have on someone if they told you.
You have to tell the people you live with what their actions do to you. Otherwise you'll be harboring these very negative feelings and they won't know why.
If you don't voice what goes on for you, then you deserve to suffer the consequences. It is YOUR responsibility to make it known. If they don't care, so be it, but you need to take that step.