By the way they say it, i'm unproductive most of the time. It doesn't matter if i keep studying art on my own or drawing, or try to keep writing my stupid stuff, i'm unproductive so long as i don't earn money. It's always been like this, i can't have time to enjoy myself. They gift me a book about birds and recommend me an ornithology club but when i go watch birds on my own, they bitch about it.

For me, drawing and writing are probably the only things keeping me afloat. Is my small island of autistic peace that i can stay in. I wish i could share with others what i do more oftenly but i know it's either not good or i wouldn't be able to draw any interest.

And i know how you feel. In my case it's my mother who pushes me hard. Worst of all, she constantly compares me to everyone around me. My cousins, her friend's kids... All how about they worked hard and became successful and amazing and how much of a failure i am compared to them. It really crushes me