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@tadano @mint This is how it works already, relays only send Announce activities to your server. However, when such activity is received, your server loads a lot of additional data including announced posts, profiles of their authors (+avatar and banner images), other posts in threads, quoted posts and media attached to all those posts.
I think the best way to deal with this is data retention settings. You probably don't read 99% of that content, so it can be safely deleted after N days (this number is controlled by retention.extraneous_posts config parameter). In theory a more fine grained control can be provided. For example server can delete posts from people you follow after N days, but delete posts announced by relays after M days where M is a smaller number than N.