@AnarchoNinaWrites The constant hypervigilance as you sort people, conversation by conversation, into one bucket or another is exhausting in itself. Like, is this “nice but clueless” cis friend burbling about “women’s fears” and “irreversible changes” because they are in bucket 4 but being crass and (educatably) ignorant, or because they are secretly in bucket 2 (or worse) but keeping it civil? (A situation I often call, “last Thursday evening”)