i agree of of course, and while i think castro is maybe best modern example of an enlightened despot, he's still just that, in fact there are thousands of years of powerful rulers who were relatively speaking, humane and limited in their violence, and provided free social sevices, in the mediteranean pre alexander there were kings of island nations who were pretty chill and just gave away free shit to everyone -that was basically the Hawaiian Monarchy from what i've heard, but yeah that's not socialism, that's not freedom, and while sure a socialist government is better than a neoliberal or fascist one by certain metrics, it's a heirarchal system of exploitation
but for anarchists it gets tricky because, in the circumstances of revolutionary war like in ukraine or spain, the people are obliged to take up arms, and, in practice what is the difference between a cop and an armed partisan? there are many, but in the relation between armed and unarmed, or one armed person and group vs another, it is just violence, materially, and so doesn't have any ideological content as such, so this is a problem anarchists have to address, like how do we engage in violence in a liberatory way without (re)producing hierarchies and exploitation?