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There are things you can do with your computer that you should never do with your computer because you'll never be able to use another computer again

Got curious and turned your screen on its side? Oops, can't go back, every laptop will fill you with rage now. You'll start calling 16:9 "shortscreen" and people will give you funny looks and ask you what the problem is.

Oh, you listened to the office lady with the wrist brace and tried her trackball one time, just ONE DAMN TIME, congratulations, you touched it you bought it, sliding your finger around a trackpad's gonna give you the ick now.

Tried a split keyboard? Un-hunched your shoulders, didn'tcha! You're REALLY fucked now, pal!