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he's a good el-phant ❤️ and totally agree, that's why i was so upset in the first place... him behaviour forced people into that dynamic. his aggression garnered that much attention from the people around me that i couldn't help but explain what the fuck was going on. i didn't want them calling the cops. at the same time, i can't deal with physical confrontation over his lack of awareness of how much of supply he smoked either. it was savage. the amount of people that got brought in and then trying to diffuse things after. not to mention some friends that were just, perhaps, a little overbearing, but things got crazy heated.

and even this... this here now... like... part of me thinks this is an okay space to process stuff 'cause it's almost like a diary that only people who don't know you read... and then on the other hand i'm like... man, if things work out past this point... i might have to scrap everything just to start anew with him in ever possible way....

and then that gets me thinking... am i totally nuts for even thinking something so volatile could ever work? can the love and loyalty i have for him be enough for him to want to heal the parts of him that are broken?

are we enough or will drugs always be the preferred high?