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I miss the old Target. Remember when it was like walking into a Nintendo DS Lite filled with colorful garbage? The largest, shiniest, solid pieces of garbage. Oh, how we would play for hours, making up stories about what we’d do with the garbage. Then we’d each choose one of pieces of garbage and take it home and keep it in our house for two years and then throw it away. What a joy! Like spitting.

No it’s a prison for laundry detergent and Target is the loan shark offering you bail money.