@daya @tinosoft I don't think there are any really neutral instances (if I understand you correctly), but I think it is easier to relax on an instance that has a completely neutral moderation policy. This requires setting aside personal feelings when deciding to do something that affects other people using the machine, which seems like common sense to me, but appears foreign to a lot of people running servers, as they tend to think that the admin must endorse everything anyone else does. It seems like a stressful way to live, just constantly being vigilant that you will say the wrong thing and get sent away and then you can't talk to your friends, which is why I think a lot of them go on the attack so frequently: not only are they hypervigilant but if someone else is the bad guy today, it's not you. I don't want to have to think that way about my own posts, let alone everyone using FSE, so I don't. I'm also fundamentally lazy, so if two people can solve the problem themselves (blocking or muting or something) then it's better that they do that than that adults run to an authority figure to solve these problems. And if I try to solve it, I think it reinforces the idea that it's appropriate to do: I don't want to reinforce that idea, I don't want to treat adults like children.

I also have very strong feelings about freedom of speech, but I wrote a lengthy piece about that: https://blog.freespeechextremist.com/blog/what-is-freedom-of-speech.html .