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@Gwendolyn @spinning_bird I admittedly phrased the question awkwardly but these conversations are always interesting to me so I'm glad you answered as well

that kind of voyeuristic leering feels juvenile and immature now that I'm an adult who has navigated sex and relationships

The feeling of the player "getting away with something" is gross and feels very juvenile, very "players are men, men are horny, women aren't, sex is a thing women have to defend from horny guys"