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Okay

History about me that probably no one here knows and typing this will likely make me sob then go to bed.

Anyone that follows me, and pays attention, knows I'm a child of abuse.

What you might not know is that I started leaving home at 13 (1st time I remember as an extended period).

What you likely don't know is that I was alone the last semester of my senior yr of HS, *at least the last semester* (best of my memory). I took my mom out of an institution on a furlough to see me graduate (she was forced there bc of "terroristic threats" against my abusive father bc she said "I could kill you for everything you've done to me" and went to bed; she woke up surrounded by police), in any event, shortly after I graduated, like less than a month for sure, she was released and she took him back.

He took everything I saved.

He told me to leave. He then tried to have me arrested over a land line phone I took with me, princess pink, I hope he enjoyed that phone.

I was immediately in need of housing and work.

My sister (🕯) helped me get an apartment (I was a minor), my retail job let me pick up hours. This was the 90s ppl, the economy sucked ass in NJ.

My eldest bro started sending me the job postings from OH where he was at the time.

Eventually I said "Fuck it. I have nothing to lose, literally", *despite not knowing him* (he left home when I was 5, bc of abusive father, and came back 1/yr, 2/yr *at best*).

I took a job as a contractor at the company I'm still with at the age of 18 (guesstimate). They hired me at 19 (for sure). They've promoted me to levels and pay that PhDs have.
When I say that I have fire, I mean I have fire.

Why does this matter to me right now???

What I saved was taken from me, my self worth was stolen from me as a child. I had desires. I had knowledge. I had passion. I had potential.

I was NOT going to let anything rob my son of his potential. I *needed* him to have opportunities that I didn't have, in ways I didn't have. *After all, my intentions have always been to break the fucking chain of abuse.*

I was set on paying for his college as hard as it might be. (As a single mom, bc I couldn't help myself but to date "the abusive man" hoping I could be his salvation. Never took a dime in child support.)

But I made my son take out a 5k loan his 1st semester bc I wanted him to feel invested in his future.

He has, at every turn in his life, **exceeded my expectations**. **The best human I know. For real.**💜💘💜

And so today, I decided that my college graduation gift to him will be to pay off that loan, because I can, with a grimace, but can.

The master bathroom remodel can continue to wait.

✌️💜
Happy graduation to my baby.

(Also, since on topic of a pos somewhere in this very long post:
🖕 I always told you I'd win, "dad". I've won. I am everything you told me I wasn't *and more* (🎶32 flavors and then some🎶). My only sorrow is that my mother couldn't join us this weekend, but I bet I see a single 🕊.)

Thank you to any of you that actually read all this. I see I'm in the thousands of characters 😬🤐💜✌️💜💞🌺
#IamWhatIam
#DoYou
#KeepOn
#Fire
💜❤️🔥