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@RebeccaSlatkin the California DMV calculates your expiration date by taking your expiration date and adding 5 to the year component

If your expiration date is 2/29, problem.

It took weeks of escalation but finally they figured it out. Solution was to change my birth date to 2/28, then change my expiration date to match, then add 5 years to it, then change my birth date back.