I'm just glad that I (mostly) stopped with the tech sperg shit for the time being because I no longer find it terribly fulfilling, and it's partly due to this kind of shit. Running a larger instance just sounds like it's all-pain, no-reward. At least, that's my impression from the outside looking in.
The last thing I did relating to that has all been about MUH SCROBBLEZ, which is a creature comfort and not that critical, and that was a pain in my ass for social rather than technical reasons. It's cool, but if it goes away it's not the end of the world, it's just dumb on the part of some project maintainer. I got native Pleroma support into WebScrobbler and PleromaFE to display the most recent one under people's usernames. Rich presence is neat, but that's all it is.
I've been working on my print magazine and the technicals of that have proven to be much cooler. The technical problems you run into with that tend to revolve around much "realer" things, in terms of physicality. Paper jams. Paper cutter blades getting dull. It's much more hands-on. On top of that, the act of generating actual content has proven much cooler to me than arguing with other tech spergs about non-issues like if a field should be url or externalLink.
Honestly I think my use of fedi might gradually shift to just running little single-user instances, or smallish ones that I just use to post about my other projects. And I'll never have to deal with needing a six million terabyte RAM computer, even if that accounts miraculously gets thousands of followers.
Cheers, fam.