@gwynnion indeed, I'd figured myself out somewhere around 2003, at the age of about 23, and it only took that long because nonbinary identities didn't exist yet and I needed time and courage to invent my own words for myself. But without modern discourse, my attempts at explaining myself as "androgynous", even to open-minded queer people close to me, didn't work and I gave up and lived with the misery until I was sure "nonbinary" would actually be a thing. My life started at 40.