I had some long periods of even being unable to listen to music. Years later, I started to slowly try and forget the things I was taught. But I also had to grieve the loss of the imaginary self I was supposed to become. Grieve the inevitable drastic loss of skills due to extremely neglecting them. I was grieving it over and over, unable to move forward.
Any music I actually got out of myself was despite the things I learned in school, not thanks to them.
Now I will proudly post trash, to spite the weird, warped, shadow versions of my teachers, of the competition judges, of my peers, that live rent free in my head. Maybe I will be able to evict them, when I overflow them with the trash. There will be no more room for them. This is not definitely not the kind of "album" that they ever expected me to release.
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Fish/Meercat 😷 :vegan: (rybson@todon.eu)'s status on Monday, 05-Feb-2024 04:30:11 JSTFish/Meercat 😷 :vegan: