@Rasp
I was literally on the floor screaming in emotional pain and stabbing myself with scissors a week ago.
I'm leaving hospital tomorrow, I'm nowhere near fixed.
Please reach out to anyone, a helpline, a friend, relative, colleague ( or ex colleague). People care. So many understand the agony.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/suicide/suicide-prevention-hotlines-resources-worldwide