@Rasp if it helps, and i hope i'm not too cruel for suggesting this. Keep trying. I was in a similar situation, in a rotten ass family, deep in depression and alcoholism. eventually, through making connections with others despite my misery, someone did reach out and wished to be with me.
i wholeheartedly believe you are worth it. one thousand percent. someone will appear. keep connecting. reach out. as much as you can. as much as you are able, step by step. please try.