@thendrix @icedquinn So far:
1) I drilled a hole into the flat side of the gourd.
2) I poured in a volatile mixture of chemicals to dissolve the guts
3) I poured out the guts
4) I poured in chemical dessicant
5) I cleaned out the dessicant and salted the inside and outside
6) I poured 90% rubbing alcohol inside and coated the outside, then lit the whole thing on fire
7) I threw it in a big fire pit for a few minutes
8) I boiled it
Now I will do more.