and its not that i dont have time for people who are still figuring it out, i will happily listen and chat to people who are deep into this is just a fetish for me territory, people who are i cant because of my family and its just not a possible reality for me, where ever they're at, i see it as a chance to really gauge where their head is at and what preconceptions they have about being trans and at what point does someone become trans etc.
But as soon as its someone who is (often like 18-19-20) vocalising their internalised transphobia projecting it onto everyone and claiming that their pretend normal existence is good and being trans is bad, my only mode of engagement is straight up wanting to explain that however they may think about trans women, they are so far below that rung in terms of existence.