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@llwynog yeah. Once you’re wise to their shit, you can defend yourself.

But if you don’t understand, and they’re in a position of power over you, that’s when they can do profound damage. A lot of us who were raised by them evolve coping strategies, but when you’re a kid having to defend yourself against the person who is supposed to be nurturing you, it causes life long damage.

We also tend to be on high alert for them, constantly. If someone behaves in a way that triggers my narcissist response, it’s instant fight or flight, with a heavy dose of grey rocking.

This has actually served me quite well, but it’s a fucked up superpower to have.