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@velobetty Online communication definitely seems to bring out that sense a lot of people experience where:

• someone makes a valid, generally applicable, and usually mild criticism of a behaviour
• a reader recognises this behaviour in themselves and feels wounded†
• upset, they rush into defensive mode
• the usual online shitshow ensues

I've totally done this, but generally do that thing where you examine yourself from the position of a respected outside observer, and it certainly helps.

† Until recently, Small Owlbear used to say "you insulted me" when someone did this - we had a talk about meanings, and they now say "that hurt my feelings", but I think that actually shows how a lot of people do read that kind of situation