@hidden @cinerion Maybe it's also a consequence of a workaholic culture, where your work is a huge part of your identity. I've mentioned before how I hear about all these hyper-successful academics who are hyper-unsuccessful on the dating apps. They min-max all their skill points into one stat and then their personal life judges them based on everything but that stat. (Dating within the workplace is increasingly stigmatized, of course, and the restrictions are especially severe in academia because many working arrangements are pedagogical to some extent and therefore are understood as a power differential.)

Maybe I'm just saying an uncontroversial sentiment in a workaholic's dialect: it's easier to fall in love with someone if your hopes and dreams are aligned. I'm also thinking of people who go to the same church, even though church isn't really "work" per se.