@eris @Arcana @ciel @Moon I think one of the biggest problems is the framing of intent and knowledge of boundaries being conflated with harm done—that is, that if someone didn’t know they were bypassing boundaries, the other party can’t be traumatized and experience it as violence, and vice-versa (that if a party is traumatized, the one who caused that must’ve been malicious and known the boundary somewhere). Real encounters, especially sexual ones (but not exclusively), are a lot more complex, and we do a disservice to everyone by framing consent and trauma in such a way.