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@samiam I definitely have some AuDHD traits. I've been considering a diagnosis and that might help me with some things like work situations, but I'm 45 years old and have been doing mostly ok, if a bit exhausted from time to time from all the compensating to fit expectations.

What helps me the most is just to hang in neurodiverse communities, nod along when people share observations and coping stories, to feel I have the right to be how I am, and to know that if I made some effort I could probably find meatspace people I could feel relaxed with. (I have solid people going 30+ years back and I love them to bits, but they're not in the right city/continent and we meet annually or less)

So, I may call myself "has some AuDHD traits" as a shorthand to help set expectations, but mostly I just seek out people I feel comfy with and that's what really matters.