This is kind of embarrassing to say as someone in her thirties but getting through this latest miserable sprint to survival has made me realise that I still don't know how to have fun or a happy life and if I don't find out soon it will probably kill me. How do people do it? How do you know what you enjoy? I slog away in videogames and read the same stupid books I always have and I watch tv and movies and it just tastes like ashes in my mouth and like i'm just waiting for my body and mind to recuperate enough energy to solve problems (be they political or material)