But, it turns out, I never really shook the wanting to learn to do this thing, and I've gotten a lot more comfortable with the idea that I'll never be good at it.
I've decided that 5 or 6 strings is too many to keep up with, and I've decided that I don't want to play bass.
So I'm picking on a 3 string acoustic cigar box right now, and I'll pick on a 3 string electric in a few weeks when @DoctorDeathray has the time and the piece of mind to finish mine.