there seems to be a really big gulf in abuser / survivor spaces between people who have more vague definitions of "abuser" (eg. someone who hurts other people) && people who have more clinical definitions (eg. someone who forces relational power over another person.)
&& i think it would be really great if we could all get on the same page. because, in the same way that it's helpful to understand how state power & violence functions, so is it crucial to understand intimate power & violence.
abuse isn't just about causing pain.
it's about power.