therapy can help you sort thru what happened.
it can help you understand why your reactions are so extreme, and why you may do things sometimes that you're ashamed of.
it can give you tools to change your behavior.
it can help you learn to be less hot-headed or reactive.
it can help you process the past, and that can absolutely change how you see the present.
but, you have to be *willing* to do all that. you have to be willing to tell the truth and self-reflect and unpack and change.
and, um, most people who are genuinely invested in power over others (aka abusers)... are not willing to do that.
abusers feel entitled to their cruelty.
that's the fucking *problem.*