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@Terra @YouShallNotPass @Dani @AlwaysAutumn I kinda like the "gender trauma" phrasing and concept.

Parallel perhaps is my own understanding and acceptance of my bottom dysphoria. I knew it was there, but didn't think it was a big deal. But the "I lived bitch" photos always give me a big emotion wave. Threads about surgery are euphoric bombshells. About a year ago I stopped wearing pants, not really consciously. As time went by I tried wearing pants but couldn't, opting for leggings or dresses or skirts every day. A few weeks ago was Denim Day. I forced myself to wear my skinny jeans I've always gotten compliments on before. I've never been more aware of how uncomfortable I was. A friend who had grs that I expressed my discomfort to knew exactly what I was going through. Her simple, "the first time I put on jeans after grs was heaven" hit me like a truck. Couldn't deny it any more. Scheduling consults now... and suddenly I have a future again.