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@roadriverrail These are all really good points. I've definitely had the feeling of needing to "prove it" if not to others then myself.

One of the reasons I wanted to start HRT (in addition to feeling like all the effects were very appealing) was to collect data. If I tried it and I hated it, then I'm probably cis (or maybe just not as trans as I thought 🤷♀️). But if I tried it and I loved it, that would also be useful data. But then it's just... Nice? Pleasant? Not horrible, not amazing.

At the end of the day, I'm still glad I'm trying it, but your note about focusing on personal joy regardless of gender is definitely an avenue to explore.

I'm starting to think my therapist's vacation is affecting me more than I expected.