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@Owl@nicecrew.digital ok, this is long so buckle up. it feels like I don't have much to live for. I got diagnosed with bipolar and I've had psychotic episodes that drove people I cared about away and made them hate me. Like Kacho for example. Like Ew who deleted his fedi account beacause of me. The whole reason I thought the person outside my house was Kacho was because I was having psychosis. That's just one example of me being psychotic. I also have autism, adhd, ptsd, and generalized anxiety. I probably have bpd too. I've been in and out of the psych ward for months. My numbers are low at work and I feel like I don't belong in the place. I met that black guy at a five guys and I saw the Mario movie with him and some other friends. But outside of that i really don't have a life. Most of the time I'm too scared to leave the house. And when I go to work I have panic attacks and I try to hide it from my coworkers which mostly works but it was embarrassing the few times they saw me crying. Idk. My condition is just making things so hard. I think I'm unhelpable. I think I'm going to die young and unhappy.

BTW I'm making sure @Kacho@breastmilk.club sees this because I'm sure he wants to know why I thought he was outside my house. It wasn't him and I was stupid. A neighbor's house got robbed later that week. Could've been related.