Random musings...

I've once again stumbled across this sentiment online voiced by men that they go through life only getting enough compliments to count on one hand... but that they cherish those few and far between compliments and this is something women don't understand because (implied) women get compliments all the time and don't appreciate them like a man would.

Then comes the chorus of other men detailing that one time ten years ago when a woman said his hair looked nice... or something like that. 95% of comments are like this. A conversation about how this impacts male mental health ensues.

Then comes the chorus of women with their pity or proudly stating how they showered their boyfriends or husbands with compliments when they realized that they weren't getting this from anyone else. Few men mention or even voice the expectation or disappointment of not being complimented by other men.

I've always been a fan of grand and mythical storytelling. Fantasy and science-fiction are my genres of choice. While much of this centers on the lone chosen one that triumphs over all, I think there is almost as often this aspect of brotherhood usually born through surviving war or some type of treacherous journey together that stands in place of an actual war but is meant to convey the same thing.

It's only through that experience that men (according to their own rules) can even have the dregs of what one might be able to call an intimate connection with each other. But if we take wars in reality, separated from far-off myths and legends, these bonds are again formed in the process of further subjugating women, taking from women, raping women, all of the above, or more.

I could go on with more examples but I think there are many reasons why "male intimacy" strikes me as quite the oxymoron. Even the men who were pre-installed as part of my life (dad, grandad, uncles) echo this sentiment which was likely a big factor in why if I had any suspected interaction with a boy my own age (like accepting a friend request on Facebook) a whole interrogation would ensue. How do you know this boy? What does he want from you? Did he give you anything? Who are his parents?

Simultaneously, intimacy between women and the whole idea of sisterhood is popularly slandered. I even read a whole article once from some major publication about how sisterhood is a lie and how the author only found true acceptance and comfort from her eventual male partner. I don't doubt that this does happen, probably quite frequently. But I do think this is primarily a symptom of what happens when women who center men try to form lasting relationships with each other. They're inclined, for whatever reason, to pour all of that intimacy into a black hole. Is that ultimately fulfilling? I have no idea. I do know that it's taboo to say it's not. Because in those grandiose myths and legends, that is not only our happily ever after - that's our only cameo.

Of course, that is all my limited perspective. Just Saturday morning musings!