I have a kangaroo joey asleep in my lap. (She can't sleep unless she's got someone to cuddle.)

I am possessed of unfathomable, didgeridangerous powers. The spirit of the bush is in my heart. I can now survive 12,000 hours without water and communicate with sea anemones. Aborigines mutter 'white fella' and stomp their feet in the dust as I pass them by in an attempt to appease me.