@JedDrudge @Humpleupagus @Cornelius @DixonUranus Usually because one person springs it on the other person, and the blindsiding is extremely cruel and tears the victim's life apart without much warning. The divorcing spouse holds little grudges and bitchy complaints inside themselves, selfishly & cowardly refusing to admit their unhappiness and seek resolution. Then the separation initiates, and the victim receives a sudden, somewhat undeserved, permanent deep emotional wound. That stirs guilt in the divorcing spouse's soul. So, the justification they tell themselves is that the other spouse really is a bad person, that they were right, and other comforting lies. Each lie embitters them, hardens them to the other person. Nastiness multiplies. And so forth. People destroy themselves, that's why they're nasty. They are cowards who destroy themselves... They are nasty because they refuse to kill themselves to pay for their dishonor, basically.