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But I can’t. iI’s always there. Even in things that aren’t about anything trans related. I’m acutely aware that I walk a tightrope. I can’t make a mistake, can’t misspeak, can’t screw up, because if I do it will be interpreted as reflecting on all trans people and not just me.

I’m so tired. And I didn’t even engage much in this over the last few weeks! Just talked to people, and spent far too much time on the internet reading. Mostly I tried to make inroads on my enormous to-do list, while not dropping the ball too badly as a parent.

But I’m utterly, utterly, utterly EXHAUSTED.

I don’t even want to post this because I don’t want the extra burden of responding to your (almost certainly very kind and supportive) replies. It’s just one more thing, and all I want to do is hide. But I guess I’ll post this because I want to share a little of what it is like.

Also I suppose I want to apologise to everything that I owe emails or work to. :( This anti-trans bullshit isn’t even the main reason — I just have too much work on my plate — but it has not helped.

/END