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@goatsarah @Jo This is one thing I've considered - everything's reversible until at least a month in IIRC - but I'm in a situation where if they were good, I'd have to stop and go back, which may give me thr comfort of knowing but would also be Not Great.

Also skint right now, so while I could ask the NHS to provide a free prescrihahahahahaha oh no oh no oh fuck

Realtalk, that in itself also seems like a pretty big step and maybe the final confirmation. Not sure why but it does. Got a list of Gender Homework to get through beforehand to understand all this shit regardless, so gonna spend the intervening months getting in shape and learning self-defence.

I'm not trying to come across as dismissive, and I'm sorry if I do.