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@OliviaVespera relays are not made to the same spec. They are some of the most eccentric technology on the Fediverse.

This document covers some of the ins and outs of the two main relay protocols:

https://codeberg.org/fediverse/fep/src/branch/main/fep/ae0c/fep-ae0c.md

I'll be frank: opt-in, consent-based architecture is not a strong suit of Fediverse relays. Most of them have no way to even opt out.

They also are extremely opaque; it's hard to know what they do and when.