There are a couple of #ActivityPub projects that focus on providing the good tools that abstract away the complexities of wire-level network comms, and help free the hands of a solution developer to focus more directly on what people need, instead of on plumbing and Babylonian speech confusion of how things fit together. I try to emphasize these projects, e.g. @fedify by listing them higher in the https://delightful.coding.social curated lists.
But their challenge is to offer a kind of reverse to browser quirks mode. Web browsers can handle about any malformed HTML a person throws at it, and still manage to turn that into machine processable form, and make the most of it.
As a fedi toolkit builder you almost need to do the opposite. Focus on offering comprehensive and intuitive API's and functionality to solution developers, and translate it into wire chaos that constitutes the fediverse-protocol-of-the-day.