I know what you mean
:nod:
I had one professor (a good one who, after a year, was let go) tell me I seemed like I was going to have a psychotic moment.
I wasn't outwardly freaking out (l felt like it would be a disaster and r e l i e f to do so though). I wasn't being obviously off. I kept to myself as much as possible, just focused--but joked, if I had to interact.
He could tell by when I didn't laugh though--when the cue signs were up and the room rose to its empty-mirror laughter and nodding, and I didn't. Guess he looked for who in the room wasn't laughing--and knew how I felt.
He was good.

I'm sorry you have to spend any time at all dancing with the drooling rather than having that time for [literally anything else].