Mastodon had grown so rich, he wanted to retire. He took me to his cabin and he told me his secret. 'I am not #JohnMastodon,' he said. 'My name is Ryan; I inherited the network from the previous John Mastodon, just as you will inherit it from me. The man I inherited it from is not the real John Mastodon either. His name was Cummerbund. The real Mastodon has been retired 15 years and living like a king in Patagonia.