@crispius American passengers returning Stateside will be paraded thru a gala event where they will be encouraged to molest the hors d'oeuvres with their unwanted hands. For a nominal fee, guests may have the passengers spit in their mouths. They will then begin a 4 week tour where they will visit as many assisted living facilities and elementary schools as possible. When they expire, their bodies will be aerosolized and sprayed over Los Angeles.