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   Christine Lemmer-Webber (cwebber@social.coop)'s status on Sunday, 12-Apr-2026 03:28:35 JST Christine Lemmer-Webber

   I thought about releasing this recipe to the fediverse but it is too delicious. It will threaten the safety of everyone who tastes it. Even the smell is too dangerous

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     Christine Lemmer-Webber (cwebber@social.coop)'s status on Sunday, 12-Apr-2026 03:29:43 JST Christine Lemmer-Webber

     in reply to

     People are accusing me in the replies of this being advertisement for my upcoming cookbook. This is lies and slander. I am merely worrying about everyone's gastrointestinal safety. I have already given tastes to private testers. They agree it is too delicious

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     Christine Lemmer-Webber (cwebber@social.coop)'s status on Sunday, 12-Apr-2026 03:31:38 JST Christine Lemmer-Webber

     in reply to

     • Xe :verified:

     @cadey I can try but we are going to have to gatekeep it behind the new Anubis Gastronomy Edition

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     Xe :verified: (cadey@pony.social)'s status on Sunday, 12-Apr-2026 03:31:40 JST Xe :verified:

     in reply to

     @cwebber can you DM it to me so I can verify the potency?

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     Christine Lemmer-Webber (cwebber@social.coop)'s status on Sunday, 12-Apr-2026 03:49:55 JST Christine Lemmer-Webber

     in reply to

     • Adriano

     @adriano I'm sorry that's a trade secret

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     Adriano (adriano@lile.cl)'s status on Sunday, 12-Apr-2026 03:49:56 JST Adriano

     in reply to

     @cwebber is this… blood from only people who are vegans?

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     Christine Lemmer-Webber (cwebber@social.coop)'s status on Sunday, 12-Apr-2026 03:49:58 JST Christine Lemmer-Webber

     in reply to

     • Adriano

     @adriano only all-vegan blood is used in the recipe, I assure you

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     Adriano (adriano@lile.cl)'s status on Sunday, 12-Apr-2026 03:49:59 JST Adriano

     in reply to

     @cwebber you have blood on your hands.

     Oh no wait it’s ragú.

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     Christine Lemmer-Webber (cwebber@social.coop)'s status on Sunday, 12-Apr-2026 05:48:51 JST Christine Lemmer-Webber

     in reply to

     In all seriousness since I am actually a FOSSgirl who loves sharing, I will share with you the recipe I made for dinner. I said it contains vegan blood in one of the replies here and it does! 🧵

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     Christine Lemmer-Webber (cwebber@social.coop)'s status on Sunday, 12-Apr-2026 05:52:04 JST Christine Lemmer-Webber

     in reply to

     This is a VERY simple meal, and surprisingly easy to make for just one person.

     First your ingredients:

     - A bulb of fennel. It doesn't need the fronds but we will use them if you have them
     - Yogurt. It can be vegan yogurt, there are many good ones on the market
     - Pick up one of those weird "vegetarian burgers" in the vegan section where you're like, is that really a burger? I picked up "sweet potato and black bean", but get whatever: black bean and corn, chickpea and kale, the less like a normal burger the better
     - Citrus! Blood orange, or maybe lemon

     The other things you should have on hand (some kind of oil, salt, black pepper, literally any green dried herb)

     Okay we're gonna make it!

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     Christine Lemmer-Webber (cwebber@social.coop)'s status on Sunday, 12-Apr-2026 05:57:29 JST Christine Lemmer-Webber

     in reply to

     - First, prepare the fennel. Cut the stems off the top, if present. Separate a few of the fronds. We won't be eating the stems but you can slice them lengthwise and scrape the flesh out with your teeth, it will be like celery licorice and is delicious. Slice the tough bottom of the bulb off, and cut in half, then quarter. Slice across "horizontally", it should make lovely little rainbows.
     - Now wash your citrus well, since we will be using the outside for the drink. Halve and then quarter your citrus, and remove the flesh; we will be using the rinds separately. Slice the rinds into little strips.
     - Find a teacup, put the rinds in there. Pour some sweetener, agave or honey probably, and then pour hot water over it. Stir and let steep. This is your complementary drink! (Alternately you could also do it with some of the fennel!)

     (cotd)

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     Christine Lemmer-Webber (cwebber@social.coop)'s status on Sunday, 12-Apr-2026 06:00:53 JST Christine Lemmer-Webber

     in reply to

     - Heat up a skillet, preferably cast iron, and pour some oil in there. I didn't use anything fancy, in fact I used the opposite of fancy; I just used canola oil, and it was perfectly good. But you can use something else!
     - Add the fennel rainbows. Sprinkle salt to taste over top. Let them start to sear, and then turn occasionally. They should start to brown nicely. Sprinkle black pepper over top.
     - They're getting nice and brown? Translucent, but not mushy? Good. Take your citrus flesh and squeeze it over top! Pick out any seeds that fall in. Now toss the vegetables in the pan for a bit, taste if to your salt levels, and transfer to a plate.
     - Now in that same pan, heat up some more oil, and put in the vegan patty! That's right, we're not getting too fancy here, we're letting the creative flavors of the patty do the work. Cook through, transfer to plate.

     (cotd)

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     Christine Lemmer-Webber (cwebber@social.coop)'s status on Sunday, 12-Apr-2026 06:03:59 JST Christine Lemmer-Webber

     in reply to

     - Let's make the sauce. You can mix this in a separate bowl or cup, but when it's just me I'm lazy and do it right on the plate! Dollop some yogurt with a teaspoon. Add salt to it. Take whatever green herb you've chosen, I chose ground sage! Mix it up with the spoon.
     - Now you should have your fennel, patty, yogurt sauce all assembled! But it needs to be a little bit fancier. So take some of those sprigs of fennel fronds and add them to your plate as a (tasty) garnish!

     Now go take your beverage and plate of delicious dinner someplace nice, maybe where you can hear the birds singing and the cool breeze on your face. Or just eat it on a table or on your couch! Whatever you feel like!

     That's what I made for dinner! I hope you like it!

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     Christine Lemmer-Webber (cwebber@social.coop)'s status on Sunday, 12-Apr-2026 22:48:21 JST Christine Lemmer-Webber

     in reply to

     • Die Welt ist

     @dieweltist the fennel

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     Die Welt ist (dieweltist@bunt.social)'s status on Sunday, 12-Apr-2026 22:48:22 JST Die Welt ist

     in reply to

     @cwebber Sounds fun, never tried cooking with fennel!
     > Now toss the vegetables

     Which vegetables does this refer to?

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     Christine Lemmer-Webber (cwebber@social.coop)'s status on Sunday, 12-Apr-2026 23:02:52 JST Christine Lemmer-Webber

     in reply to

     Since I didn't make it clear, the goal here is that you don't really need to serve these fancy vegan burger things on a bun. You can of course! But the thing that makes them good is that they are packed with flavor, and being on a bun hides that. They're more interesting as their own flavor, so the goal of this recipe is to let them do all the work of the main, highly flavorful protein and put the effort into a delicious side, and the two things together deliver a really wonderful meal.